i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
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I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
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Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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