im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize