Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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