I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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