hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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