btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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