OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize