And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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