How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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