see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize