The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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