I'm going to jail i love you
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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