i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
