If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
