My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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