I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize