I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize