WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
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Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
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Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?