your parents love me but you hate me
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.