my phone needs a breathalizer
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?