have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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