I cannot find my penis.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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