If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
