i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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