Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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