Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize