What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
