i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
