you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
