oh god the rape fog is back!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
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I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
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Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs