Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-