I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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