i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
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My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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