So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
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Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
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The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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