My nipple is on Facebook.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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