I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Randomize