It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
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I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize