I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
