I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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