Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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