I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
