Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
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When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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