i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
