if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
