Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
