No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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