can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
