Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
