Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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