idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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