i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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