This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize