either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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